Exhausted, Overwhelmed and Grateful
A big "thank you" is in order to all my blogger friends for your kind words!
As the title states, I'm not starting out this week with a whole lot of energy. Good things have gotten me to my present condition, so overall, I'm happy. Obviously the news about my mom was huge. Really huge, and unexpected. I just-- Wow. It's great.
But now I have a million thoughts running through my mind.
When is she thinking of doing this? Will it be before I have my savings in place? After all, if I wait too long, will she still have the health to do all she wants in Israel? (Will I??) And will we both still be motivated to go? How much will she be looking to me for financial support? I want to be able to support her, and I've made a commitment to doing so in her retirement. (Even though she insists that's not necessary.) So many things to consider. I don't want to be poor. And I definitely don't want my mom to be poor. I've been poor before, and I'd rather not repeat the experience, thank you. Not if I can help it, anyway. I'd much rather arrive in Israel with the ability to bless others. And I'm scared that if I don't pick up Hebrew (Does anyone call it Ivrit anymore?), then I won't be successful in real estate there. If I don't have enough saved up prior to going, then of course a job will be a necessity!
Random thoughts: maybe I'll win the lottery. (It might help if I bought a ticket!) Maybe NBN will accept my application, though I seriously doubt that. To tell the truth, I don't even know if I'll bother applying to NBN. I use their website all the time, but I don't feel like setting myself up for rejection, although the assistance they provide would be priceless. (I definitely won't be applying for their financial assistance.)
The first step is for Mom and I to take our initial trip to Israel next June, to see how we like it! Our trip was postponed from last month until next June. Incidentally, both Mom and I have moved internationally without ever first visiting our new country of residence, so I suppose that's why we feel comfortable talking about moving even before visiting Israel. We are exceedingly adventurous.
I'm getting ahead of myself, I know. But it's my blog, so I'm just writing what's on my heart. Even though I've said many times that this is what I want, having the possibility so real and within reach is terrifying!! It's such a dream come true that my mom is considering this, but I'm used to being self-centered. (Did I mention that I've never been married? And I'm 39?) Factoring in another person's plans definitely adds more layers of ...well, everything.
I had a conversation with an Israeli guy today, and I couldn't even properly say "tzedakah." It was discouraging, and hopefully not a sign of things to come! Tomorrow, I'll try to blog about the conversation and where I went today. It was interesting.
Good night, All. I have a feeling it will be "counting sheep" kind of night.
As the title states, I'm not starting out this week with a whole lot of energy. Good things have gotten me to my present condition, so overall, I'm happy. Obviously the news about my mom was huge. Really huge, and unexpected. I just-- Wow. It's great.
But now I have a million thoughts running through my mind.
When is she thinking of doing this? Will it be before I have my savings in place? After all, if I wait too long, will she still have the health to do all she wants in Israel? (Will I??) And will we both still be motivated to go? How much will she be looking to me for financial support? I want to be able to support her, and I've made a commitment to doing so in her retirement. (Even though she insists that's not necessary.) So many things to consider. I don't want to be poor. And I definitely don't want my mom to be poor. I've been poor before, and I'd rather not repeat the experience, thank you. Not if I can help it, anyway. I'd much rather arrive in Israel with the ability to bless others. And I'm scared that if I don't pick up Hebrew (Does anyone call it Ivrit anymore?), then I won't be successful in real estate there. If I don't have enough saved up prior to going, then of course a job will be a necessity!
Random thoughts: maybe I'll win the lottery. (It might help if I bought a ticket!) Maybe NBN will accept my application, though I seriously doubt that. To tell the truth, I don't even know if I'll bother applying to NBN. I use their website all the time, but I don't feel like setting myself up for rejection, although the assistance they provide would be priceless. (I definitely won't be applying for their financial assistance.)
The first step is for Mom and I to take our initial trip to Israel next June, to see how we like it! Our trip was postponed from last month until next June. Incidentally, both Mom and I have moved internationally without ever first visiting our new country of residence, so I suppose that's why we feel comfortable talking about moving even before visiting Israel. We are exceedingly adventurous.
I'm getting ahead of myself, I know. But it's my blog, so I'm just writing what's on my heart. Even though I've said many times that this is what I want, having the possibility so real and within reach is terrifying!! It's such a dream come true that my mom is considering this, but I'm used to being self-centered. (Did I mention that I've never been married? And I'm 39?) Factoring in another person's plans definitely adds more layers of ...well, everything.
I had a conversation with an Israeli guy today, and I couldn't even properly say "tzedakah." It was discouraging, and hopefully not a sign of things to come! Tomorrow, I'll try to blog about the conversation and where I went today. It was interesting.
Good night, All. I have a feeling it will be "counting sheep" kind of night.
posted by Yaakova at
4:24 PM
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